How to Confront a Cheater: 14 Steps (with Pictures)

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW

Co-authored by:


This article was co-authored by Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW. Kelli Miller is a Psychotherapist based in Los Angeles, California. Kelli specializes in individual and couples therapy focusing on relationships, depression, anxiety, sexuality, communication, parenting, and more. She is the author of “Love Hacks: Simple Solutions to Your Most Common Relationship Issues” which details the top 15 relationship issues and 3 quick solutions to each. She is also the award-winning and best-selling author of “Thriving with ADHD”. Kelli co-hosted an advice show on LA Talk Radio and was a relationship expert for The Examiner. She received her MSW (Masters of Social Work) from the University of Pennsylvania and a BA in Sociology/Health from the University of Florida. This article has been viewed 424,445 times.

Co-authors: 30

Updated: March 27, 2024

Views: 424,445

Medical Disclaimer

The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.

Article SummaryX

Finding out that your partner has cheated on you is incredibly difficult. But before you confront them, think about your goals. For example, are you interested in trying to work things out, or do you want to end the relationship? Write down your thoughts so you have some idea ahead of time of what you want to say. They might try to deny what happened, so make sure you have evidence, such as texts or emails between them and the other person. Set up a time when you can talk without being interrupted, and calmly tell them what’s on your mind. Explain how you feel instead of blaming or attacking your partner for what happened. That way, they’ll be more likely to open up instead of getting angry or defensive. If you want to stay in the relationship, focus on addressing the underlying causes of the affair so you can work through those issues together. To learn how to decide if couples therapy is the right step for you, keep reading!

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 424,445 times.

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